The New Divine Masculine

The work I do with clients and with myself is very deep; a somatic connection and spiritual connection in the body and also in multiple time fields simultaneously. I see in myself and in my clients the emergence of the new divine masculine, the 5th wave. It parallels the divine feminine coming into its 5th wave, hallmarked by deeper power that is “power within” instead of “power over”, and body love that needs no proclamation, viewership, concretization, nor possession.

4th wave divine masculine was “beta masculinity” or “enlightened masculinity”. There were many positive attributes, including better valuation of emotional intelligence and spiritual growth, but there remained many problematic remainders including:

· Maintaining the “goal” of enlightenment or looking to “life hack” spiritual maturity. This goal-oriented or efficiency-minded lens on healing lacked the space, time, and patience for organic evolution.

· A lack of orientation towards receiving guidance from nature and from the divine/source and a lack of an intimate, personal relationship with said guidance.

· Using our vulnerability as social currency. In part this relates to being goal-oriented or trying to get a handle on our intimacy in some way.

Background contexts of hierarchy, patriarchy, and judgement are all at play here. There are judgements about “Who is doing their spiritual/personal work” and “how far along on the path am I compared to others?” as if the path were linear or that the comparison was worthwhile (instead of unhelpful and separating). There’s also a pushing at going full force at investing in growth. This “full force” feeling, whether in 5-minute meditation or a plant medicine retreat, does not respect the nature of intimacy and its divine timing. New divine masculine asks us to refrain from leaning into vulnerability and intimacy and instead to simply let it bloom.

Sometimes the weaponization of vulnerability can go as far as gaslighting (as seen in some cults), but more often it’s unintentionally twisted and used against another person who is sharing and being vulnerable with us. In 4th wave divine masculine practices, the information and intimacy shared with us is used for background psychoanalysis or, even more subtly, is received as a gratification to the person who is receiving it. There’s a kind of god complex or hierarchy of power, with the person listening presenting as “whole”, “empowered”, or “healed,” and the person expressing vulnerability presenting as “broken”, “in need”, or “healing”. There is a sense of collecting the sharing as a gift to the listener or observer, like a new possession. It reminds me of sexual conquest, but instead, intimacy conquest. This is still rampant in Western psychology.

Weaponizing vulnerability can happen from the one who is sharing as well. It has the flavor of forcing and impinging into the quiet and tenderness that is needed. I have acutely felt this in writers’ and artistic collectives when we trot out our proverbial skeletons from the closet. Either we as sharers are gaining social currency through the “act” of intimacy or we are aiming for some shift in relationship with those who are listening. Old power structures are everywhere when we use vulnerability as a tool in this way, plumbing the depths of our emotional experience in order to use it as a tool.

When we push, we are subtly weaponization vulnerability or intimacy and causing us suffering for ourselves and also for those who are bearing witness. Intimacy needs to breathe and grow organically. I invite us to:

· allow the content to belong to the person who is sharing and have nothing to do with us as listeners

· refrain from our own interpretations, even internally, thus holding neutral space

· refrain from conflating the sharer’s experience with the perception of personality or pathology

· allowing what is shared, the content and the vulnerability, to be the manifestation of the present moment experience

· allowing our own experience, as sharer or as witness, to evoke compassion and tenderness that is ours and ours alone, in a whole and internal way, during the ephemeral time that it blossoms. This temporary ownership of our own experience allows the energy field to resonate with the intimacy without it being claimed as part of ongoing identity by the sharer or the witness.

As we heal core wounds, gently and with great patience, we complete the self-parenting of ourselves into a whole self. This whole self includes many parts, includes the divine masculine and divine feminine, and includes an emerging council or polyamorous marriage within.

My personal pathway into the new divine masculine begins with imagining someone I trust holding me and not letting go until I tell them I am ready. This is powerful imagery, and I change who I imagine holding me – sometimes one person, sometimes many; sometimes a spirit guide, sometimes someone I know in this physical plane. I allow myself to feel held and protected, loved and seen, by the externally sourced divine masculine (thereby healing my internal divine masculine). Practicing this imagining over many months, my sense of trust was deepened, the core wound healed, and there arrived in the day-to-day life a consistent non-self-abandonment.

I invite you to experiment with a new way of experiencing the divine masculine by having your own imaginal journey that is solely yours, with no timetable and with no judgement about your progress. I look forward to hearing what you discover.